Yesterday was the official mother's day and it got everyone (almost everyone) posting pictures and saying nice things about their mums like never before. Social media went crazy yesterday over this, with beautiful pictures of various mothers and heart-felt messages appreciating their mothers (including me, no kidding my mum is awesome!). It was really beautiful to see. There is nothing compared to the love you have for your mother (obviously), that unconditional feeling you share with each other and seeing her as a priceless asset.
However, the relationship most people have with their mother these days is not as deep as it should be. especially African Mothers. Don't get me wrong, African Parents are awesome. But there are some major hitch that are really affecting the mother-child relationship.
Taking most teenagers as a point of view, many of the teenagers find it really difficult to express their inner thoughts especially Teenagers growing up to adulthood. When you notice new changes in your body and you feel really scared or intimidated, you would wish to share this information with someone-most especially your parents. But you all agree with me that not all parents are easy to approach.Now, the issue is, not every parent is approachable. Most especially African Parents. But since we are focusing on Mothers, so let us just stick to them.
I as a person love movies (a lot!). I watch a lot of foreign movies especially teen dramas and few of African movies which focus on family relationship. You would notice how its so easy for them to talk to their Folks about school,girl talk, boy issues, teenage experience and lots more. Even though we know it is all make-believe and entertainment, but to be honest, watching these ''make believe'' mothers move close to their kids (teens) and wanting to know about their daily activities and troubles really makes you wish you had that type of relationship with your mum.
Down to reality, many teens find it hard to tell their Parents about their anything and I mean anything because of fear of being scolded, restricted lifestyle, punishments and so on. When this happen, they tend to make the wrong choices. They seek advice from friends and people who do not have enough experience on their own. Many mothers believe in stern warnings and harsh conversation, scary threats. These things won't solve anything, they would only make it worse. Tough love is necessary and recommended but not in every cases. There are sometimes when ''few minutes of gentle listening and talking'' will just do the trick.
To Parents, especially Mothers, try to listen to your children, talk to them advise them gently like the adult they are becoming. Young adults hide a lot in their mind. They really want to share these thoughts with you but most times, you are not always available. Do not be too far from them (us). They need you. Yes, they appreciate your provision of basic needs like fees, clothing, food, shelter and the likes but they need you-psychologically and spiritually too.
If ten of African Parents can try these, things will be better. The level of communication would improve. Their academics will also improve, because whenever they have a problem in school, they share it with you and you give them good advice since you are experienced.
Remember, everyone can be a mother or a father but not anyone can be a ''mum'' or ''dad''. This is the 2015, stop trying to use the old fashioned ways to bring up Teens of this age, Step up the game!
XO~ ELLE SUE.